1.Blow job is illegal. Your mouth
is not a toilet. You are therefore
forbidden to transform your
mouth into some kind of toilet by
allowing all kind of genitals in it.
If you must blow,blow your nose.
2. 69 is a number. A simple
mathematical number. And it
should remain so. It belongs to
classrooms NOT bedrooms.
3. It is wrong to be TURNED ON.
You are not an electric switch.
Only an electric switch should be
turned on. Not a human being.
Know your roles.
4. MOANING should STOP. Not
unless you are moaning the loss
of a relative at a funeral.
Otherwise any other kind of
moaning is highly outlawed.
Especially in bedrooms.
5. Every African is entitled to
5MBs ONLY per day. Excess data
bundles will tempt you to visit
pornographic sites. No African
should purchase more than 5
MBs. If You need more,please
register with the C.I.D
Department first.
6. Your Whatsapp conversations
MUST BE conducted in GROUPS of
10. No private Whatsapp
conversations. You must identify
10 mutual friends,create a
Whatsapp Group and join it. And
EVERY GROUP MUST include
atleast ONE police officer.We
MUST see what kind of photos you
are exchanging.
7. Ladies,You are FORBIDDEN to
be wet around Your Man. NOT
UNLESS You are washing his
clothes, cooking for him or rinsing
rice.
8. SOCIALITES All SOCIALITES
must get a certificate of Good
Conduct from the C.I.D
Headquarters before posting
photos on Instagram.
9. Twerking is ILLEGAL. And if You
must twerk,You must purchase a
twerking license of not less than
100,000/=. And as you twerk, you
must make sure that your
buttocks are atleast 1 meter from
the ground to prevent violating
the terms and conditions of your
license.
10. The official African position
is MISSIONARY. Any other
position is American. Missionary is
good because it will be our
simple way of saying ”thank you”
to the Missionaries who brought
the Gospel to us.
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